School tomorrow at 7 till 10pm...

I feel like shitting just at the tot of it! 6 years of not touching books. 6 years of not mingling with classmates. 6 years of ignorance. 6 years of being a 'suaku'. 6 damn fucking long years to learn something new. 6 damn years to wake me from dreaming in wonderland.

But that doesn't mean i have stopped dreaming.Coz i still am. So what dreams exactly you may ask? Dreams to me are like wishes...Coz we can dream but they don't always have to come true.

1)To get married is every girl's dream. Especially a fairytale one. And so is mine.

2)Having to wake up next to someone in the morning and feeling his morning breath fresh on my neck...chillingly exciting.

3) My goddamn business. I know what i wanna do but i don't have capital yet. Darn.

4) My driving license. Hahah...

5)Kids. My own. Yeah..i'm talking about them finally.

6) A good job even tho i love my current one.

7) My own car. Even tho my dad has offered his if i pass my practical.

8) To go somewhere outside this little island. At least before i get married.

9) To be BEAUTIFUL. Kak Sri taught me that.

10) To love myself MORE than anyone else.

And so i am still dreaming more. Haha...Called Lene today and girl told me she's registering for R.O.M next year after Dee's wedding time. Why are all friends getting married suddenly? Well, and so they say, my time isn't here yet for such complicating issues. But i do hope it'll come someday. I wan babies. I guess this baby drama comes from too much playing with my nephew. His silly giggles makes me hook onto carrying him and buying him all those silly tops and knitting nonsensical cardigans. Honestly, i hated him when he first came home.

Well, i'll see what the outcome for school is like tomorow. Hope it's good. Hope the class is not full of boring crappy old peeps. I'd be so stuck for one and half year then. God. I feel like shitting at the tot of it again. Yikes....

"Please breath and relax ShaSha...you'll do fine
alright??"