Friday, 21st March

The ONLY thing that i am still able to do despite the ever so painful heart pain is - LAUGH. One thing i am proud of myself is that, i always laugh even tho it's the silliest thing i've done. Like when i mistook a customer at work for saying "tennis" to "chinese". I laughed so hard till i cried while serving her. And the poor lady bared me a clenched jaw look throughout. Haha. And who can i blame apart from my ownself from being partially deaf right? Honestly speaking, ever since "that", my ears rang so much it hurts and so now, i can't quite make out certain things people often say.





I bought this uber cute Barney top whilst at Woodlands pasar malam with Dee. Everyone knows how much i adore Barney. Actually i fell in love with this bumblebee striped top instead of this one...but too bad the aunty had no size and so i ended up buying this one instead. It's not so bad. I adore Barney and so here it is. It's freaking funny and my poor nephew.

And so it is...purple baby for that few seconds and so many snapshots too..all for the sake of finding the perfect one. Hahah..

I miss the RC people. I practically belonged there even tho i was from CM. My heart, soul and everything else was there. When they had a party, i went. When they had potluck, i was invited and ate even though i bought nuts. Basically the memories are all there. And to not step in there again kinda hurts. Whatta do...for me, memories of you-know-who has to be erased completely in order for me to heal faster.

I miss scaring Kakak, giving her a surprise "BOO!" and making her laugh after that. I miss being deaf to Din's mumbles. I miss looking at Irah's haircuts and her being a fashion chameleon. And i miss Elanor naivity and child-like behaviour. And how i miss walking around in circle in that mall and up the escalator without having the need to look down..i was so safe. Then...i still miss every single thing... =(

But what can i do? It's all part of memories. My heart broke when i got them donuts and couldn't go in there to look and smile, maybe even hug or share a few giggles with familiar faces. I can't coz i know once i step in there, i'll be broken all over again. Let me erase and forget this part first. After that, i pray i'll be fine soon. I'm not erasing FRIENDS. I'm ONLY forgetting pain.......