Rain and fever don go well...i felt like sleeping/fainting at work the whole day..and yet i have to do stuffs...shitty. And i still haven quite recover from the bullimic (is this how u spell it?) syndrome..i ate Nacho Doritos and a pack of milk just now..and after which i felt queasy and so i barf everything out at the loo-loo soon after.

I know...but i haven been able to eat after that incident. Everyone i know says the same thing - That i have lost weight. What can i do if i can't eat right?? Of coz fucker is fucking happy..he's got another bitch to screw!! What about me?? He left me OK...i was dumped without even knowing..and i'm just depressed and half suicidal. Still i give credits to Dee for believing in me so much daily...even to the point i became scared to disappoint people. Then again, i can't let myself down just coz of a fucker...someday i WILL meet my Prince Charming. I don want to alarm him with my past stories..i'm sure he'd freak out.

So what am i blabbering now?? I dunno..i tried hard to eat just now. In fact i even bought my fave instant pasta...here it is added with my fave button mushrooms..but now in bed, i feel like barfing out every single thing in my stomach. I am so pathetic...and so fucking lovelorn for nothing. I dunno why i am still stuck! Maybe like what Dee just said, I haven found the right one yet...i hope i can still get married by 26-27. I want my own babies to run around..Now whenever i hold my nephew, i can't help wishing i have my own...i spoil the little one with booties and nonsensical items often...

Errr..maybe the thought of celebrating my birthday alone isn't so much my idea...Haiz...what to do..Allah is testing me...but how much can i take from Him...Astaga...