It's the leap year today. I kinda pity/envy those born today. Not too sure why..it's kinda special in a way don you think? You celebrate your birthday once every 4 years..save the itty-bitty bit of presents unwrapping, don get to waste money and you learn not to be so dependent on people. My summary of it. Hmm..This leap year also marks me being alone.

I am OK today...doing bits and pieces of work. I realise one thing. Blogging keeps me sane and grounded. It helps me unbottle my anger and whatever feelings within me. Keeps me light and unburdened tho i admit that i am still a lil disenchanted.

I can't wait for tomorrow. I pray i can get into that school and what's important is the loan thing now. It would seriously take my mind off a thousand and one things. It would keep me occupied with all those homeworks, projects and pieces of it all. =)

I am beginning to smile slowly...everything's fading. He's fading and that's a good sign. I can move on. I try very hard not to think daily. Ok...fine i mean memories are so hard to erase but it'll fade sooner than you realise. Pain is a feeling you get when you fall but after a while, the wound heals. Basically it's like riding a bicycle for the first time. You're unsure and you get help. Then comes the part when you're hooked to it until the day you fall. You gets up, scared of trying on it again for the longest time. Sometime later after your wound heals, you'd wanna get back on it again and try the fun you experienced before. I guess LOVE is like that too. I dunno. My perceptive of it has changed indeed. To me, it's now just a phase where you feel really, really happy and excited. That's the best i can describe of it. I am no amateur in this area but at the same time, i've lost that bit of hope and spark of sunshine.

So today, i am even calmer (minus work..which got shitty yesterday..i might not even last here ya know...). Alhamdullilah. Allah is great isn't he? He soothes us when we needs him most. Allah is also great in the sense that, when he takes something precious away from you, he tends to replace it with something even better. It hasn't come to me yet in the form i want to...but insyallah, it's on the way. =)

I don wish to sound like a desperado..but sometimes it helps so much to have someone close whom i can lean my head onto when i'm so so tired or even call at night when i can't sleep these days...Or someone whom i can grip onto when i hear the thunder..someone basically to hold me up when i fall.

As you can see, i'm still being melancholy here and there. I am like the Oyster Boy..haha..Well, at least i am trying to make myself feel better. And when i think 4-7years is a freaking long countdown, i look at my nephew who's growing so much by the days. In 4 years, he's gonna be 4, let alone 7 years. So he shall be my timeline. My timeline for me to see the changes i've been waiting to see. According to my Dad...

And here i am penning off...my arms hurts today...Haiz..and so does my legs..Goodnight