This coming Monday Dee has promised to accompany me to that school. I hope i gets it..but nothing beats explaining to Mum this morning and getting a smile from her. It means alot. I don't say i love her often but she knows that I am one of her children who loves her most.

I am getting OK. Pain is still there..and my ears still rings once in a while but i'll do good. I have already draft out a plan you see. Plans to keep me so busy i can hardly find the fucking time to think shits.

And please, don't even think i am ever going to come between 'them'..i won't stoop so low as a woman. I am a grown-up girl and i have to act like one. Next month's my fucking birthday for god's sake and i'm fucking 24!! I can't act forver 20.

I so cannot wait for Monday beach outing. I really need the break. It's only been a few days or so it seems that i got back all those garbage, but seriously, i have been through all these alone since last year. I admit it's hard, going to be tough...but i wanna do this. I want to..

And so, with that i hope i am slowly able to smile again....and with time, the right person will probably come along and do all those i yearn for. (then again, i really am not that pathetic..) Like i have already said in previous entries, sometimes when major blows like this happens, something inside you just shuts off. It will take a looooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggg time for it to 'regenerate' itself back.

Today i am peaceful..Alhamdullilah.